founder-wellness skill

---
name: Founder Wellness
description: This skill should be used when the user asks about "founder burnout", "startup stress", "work-life balance for founders", "founder mental health", "sustainable pace", "how to avoid burnout", "founder exhaustion", "managing stress as CEO", "founder loneliness", "when to take breaks", or discusses feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, isolated, or questioning whether to continue.
version: 0.1.0
---

# Founder Wellness

## Overview

Building a company is one of the most stressful endeavors a person can undertake. This skill provides frameworks for maintaining mental health, preventing burnout, and building sustainable practices for the long haul.

**Important:** This content is educational, not medical advice. If you're experiencing serious mental health challenges, please seek professional support.

## The Reality of Founder Mental Health

### The Statistics

- **72%** of founders report mental health impacts
- **30%** experience depression (vs 7% general population)
- **27%** experience anxiety
- Founders are **2x** more likely to have psychiatric conditions

### Why Founders Struggle

| Challenge | Description |
|-----------|-------------|
| Loneliness at the top | Can't fully share struggles with team, board, or often family |
| Identity fusion | When the company struggles, you feel like YOU are failing |
| Uncertainty | Constant ambiguity about whether you're making the right calls |
| Responsibility | Weight of people depending on you - team, investors, customers |
| Comparison | Seeing other founders' highlight reels, not their struggles |
| Loss of balance | Work expands to fill all available time and headspace |

### The Founder Paradox

You're expected to be:
- Confident AND humble
- Visionary AND practical
- Fast-moving AND thoughtful
- Optimistic AND realistic
- Strong AND vulnerable

No one can be all these things all the time. It's exhausting.

## Recognizing Burnout

### The Burnout Spectrum

```
Engaged → Overextended → Disengaged → Burnout → Crisis
```

Most founders operate at "Overextended" and think it's normal. It's not.

### Early Warning Signs

**Physical:**
- Chronic fatigue that doesn't improve with rest
- Getting sick more often
- Sleep problems (too much or too little)
- Neglecting exercise, nutrition

**Emotional:**
- Irritability and short temper
- Cynicism about the company or team
- Feeling detached or numb
- Dreading Mondays (or every day)

**Cognitive:**
- Difficulty concentrating
- Making more mistakes
- Avoiding decisions
- Forgetting things you normally wouldn't

**Behavioral:**
- Working more but accomplishing less
- Withdrawing from relationships
- Increasing alcohol, substances, or unhealthy coping
- Procrastinating on important things

### The Burnout Self-Assessment

Rate 1-5 (1=never, 5=always):

| Statement | Score |
|-----------|-------|
| I feel exhausted even after rest | |
| I feel emotionally drained by work | |
| I question whether my work matters | |
| I feel disconnected from my team | |
| I have trouble getting motivated | |
| I'm more cynical than I used to be | |
| I feel like I'm just going through the motions | |
| I'm neglecting personal relationships | |
| I can't remember my last real break | |
| I feel like I can't keep this up | |

**Total score:**
- 10-20: Normal stress range
- 21-35: Concerning - take preventive action
- 36-50: High burnout risk - need immediate changes

## Prevention Strategies

### Non-Negotiables

Define 3-5 things you will NOT sacrifice for work:

**Examples:**
- Sleep: 7+ hours, no exceptions
- Exercise: 3x/week minimum
- Family dinner: No meetings after 6pm twice/week
- Weekend day: One day with no work
- Vacation: One week per quarter, fully offline

**Then protect them ruthlessly.** When people push back:
"I'm not available then. Here's when I can do it."

### Energy Management

**Know your energy patterns:**
- When do you do your best thinking? (Protect that time)
- What activities drain you? (Minimize or batch)
- What recharges you? (Schedule it)

**The energy audit questions:**
1. After this activity, do I have more or less energy?
2. Is this energy worth the outcome?
3. Is there a less draining way to achieve this?

### Building Recovery Rituals

**Daily recovery:**
- 10-minute morning ritual (whatever grounds you)
- Lunch away from desk
- End-of-day shutdown routine
- Evening disconnection

**Weekly recovery:**
- One day with no work
- Time with people who aren't work-related
- Physical activity you enjoy
- Something that has nothing to do with the company

**Quarterly recovery:**
- Real vacation (not "I'll just check email")
- Reflection time
- Re-evaluation of priorities

## Building Support Systems

### The Founder Support Stack

**Layer 1: Professional Support**
- Therapist or counselor (proactive, not just when in crisis)
- Executive coach
- Advisor or mentor

**Layer 2: Peer Support**
- Founder peer group
- Close founder friends
- Industry community

**Layer 3: Personal Support**
- Spouse/partner
- Family
- Non-work friends

**Layer 4: Team Support**
- Co-founder relationship
- Leadership team
- Trusted direct reports

### Finding the Right Therapist

Many founders resist therapy. Reframe: Top athletes have coaches. Top founders should too.

**Look for:**
- Experience with entrepreneurs/high-achievers
- Understanding of startup dynamics
- Available scheduling (many offer evenings/early mornings)
- Good fit for your communication style

**First session questions:**
- Have you worked with founders before?
- What's your approach to work-related stress?
- How do you balance support with challenge?

### Founder Peer Groups

Being with other founders who understand is uniquely valuable.

**Options:**
- YPO/YEC (Young Presidents' Organization)
- Founders Forum
- Local founder dinners
- Accelerator alumni networks
- Industry-specific groups

**What to look for:**
- Similar stage/scale of company
- Confidentiality
- Regular meeting rhythm
- Mix of support and challenge

## Specific Challenges

### Founder Loneliness

**Why it happens:**
- Can't fully share with team (don't want to worry them)
- Can't fully share with board (don't want to seem weak)
- Can't fully share with family (they don't understand context)
- Other founders seem to have it together

**Strategies:**
- Find 1-2 founder confidants who you can be fully honest with
- Join a peer support group
- Get a therapist who understands startup life
- Remember: Everyone is struggling. They're just not posting about it.

### Imposter Syndrome

**The voice:** "I don't know what I'm doing. They're going to find out."

**Reality:** Most founders feel this way. It means you're being challenged.

**Strategies:**
- Keep a "wins" file - evidence that counters the narrative
- Ask: "Would I expect a first-time CEO to know this? Or am I learning?"
- Remember: You were chosen by investors who've seen hundreds of founders
- Talk to other founders - they feel the same way

### The Identity Trap

**The problem:** When company = you, company struggles = you fail

**Signs:**
- You can't talk about anything but work
- Your mood tracks the company's performance
- "How are you?" is answered with how the company is doing
- You've lost hobbies, friends, interests outside work

**Strategies:**
- Deliberately cultivate identity beyond founder
- Schedule non-work activities that matter to you
- Practice saying "the company is struggling" not "I'm failing"
- Remember: You are not your company

### The Comparison Trap

**The problem:** Comparing your inside to other founders' outside

**Reality:**
- That founder with the perfect LinkedIn presence? Probably struggling too.
- The founder who just raised? Still has a million problems.
- The acquisition you read about? 5 years of hell before the headlines.

**Strategies:**
- Limit social media exposure
- Have real conversations with founders (not just surface)
- Focus on your own journey, not others'
- Remember: The only comparison that matters is you vs. past you

## When to Get Help

### Immediate Help Needed

Seek professional help immediately if:
- Thoughts of self-harm or suicide
- Unable to function (can't get out of bed, can't work at all)
- Substance abuse to cope
- Severe anxiety or panic attacks
- Depression lasting more than a few weeks

**Resources:**
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
- SAMHSA Helpline: 1-800-662-4357

### Professional Help Recommended

Seek support soon if:
- Burnout symptoms lasting more than a few weeks
- Relationships suffering significantly
- Sleep problems persisting
- Lost interest in things you used to enjoy
- Feeling hopeless about the future

**Getting help is not weakness. It's smart resource allocation.**

## Additional Resources

For more detailed wellness strategies, see:
- **`references/sustainable-pace.md`** - Building long-term habits
- **`references/crisis-recovery.md`** - When you're already burned out